Write of Passage

Rift

2011-04-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

she reminded me
of you and me and broken
and i was glad
to walk away

she said things
like you to me words spoken
as if you saved them
up to throw away

where did you find the venom?
when did you decide to sting?
who did you see when you looked at me
and said you don't mean anything?

well I don't feel your venom now
and I don't care who you sting
I know what I see when I look at me
Losing you was the start of everything

You

2011-01-10T20:06:00.000-08:00

You are safe harbors and still waters
running deep beneath my feet.
Secret keeper. Sworn protector.
Holder of what I want to seek.

I am stony cliffs and angry tides
roaming restless 'gainst your shores.
Holder of weapons. Master of lies.
Losing myself to win the war.

You are reacher. Seeker. Books, ideas, plans.
I am impulse. Instigator. Resolve, action, demands.

You are caution.

Strength.

Home.

I am fury.

Resistance.

Gone.

Madness

2010-04-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

whispering madness truth or lie
fear-slick fingers cast the die
beautiful mayhem shiver and cry
trapped in the belly of the beast am I

sorrow slithering scrapes the skin
lunatic, lunatic let me in
blood for thoughts, penny for sin
lunatic, lunatic where have you been?

wandering empty soul to steal
grasping straws for they might heal
welling crimson aches to feel
proof that I might not be real

screaming silence softly seethe
lunatic, lunatic let me breathe
tear it limb from limb and feed
lunatic, lunatic won't you leave?

Depression

2009-01-19T21:18:00.000-08:00

Creeping on such
silent feet;
Out of shadows
sink your teeth
into spirit, flesh
and bone;
Hello, beast,
welcome home.

Invisible

2008-10-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

Wake me if you can
I don’t want to dream.
Nothing I can say
Will wipe this clean.

The cracks are running deep
Beneath my feet.
I’m losing what I thought
I was meant to keep.

Chorus:
I still love you
Like no one’s loved you.
You are irreplaceable.
I still need to
Hear it from you.
I am not invisible.

I want to reach inside
And touch the ache.
Cut it out of me
And stop this break.

The truth is losing ground
Before my eyes.
I cannot find the words
To make it right.

Chorus:
I still love you
Like no one’s loved you.
You are irreplaceable.
I still need to
Hear it from you.
I am not invisible.

I can’t breathe
Without this pain.
I’ll promise anything
To make it change.

Let me crawl inside
Someone else’s skin.
I might self-destruct
If you don’t let me in.

Chorus:
I still love you
Like no one’s loved you.
You are irreplaceable.
I still need to
Hear it from you.
I am not invisible.

Smoke

2008-10-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

my voice whispers
in shades of grey
ghostly vapors
mocking the day
clinging to shadow
in silence I fall
substance-less, I
was never real at all

Down

2008-09-05T23:35:00.000-07:00

Fear locks you down with a cold kiss;
Grief is a landmine waiting to shatter you;
Ice is the strength that you swallow down;
It swallows you down.

Barren the view out your window;
Cover your head with ashes and mourn for it;
Once you believed you could stand your ground;
'Til it swallowed you down.

Chorus:
And the heavens are crying but you remain dry;
Cold from the inside;
And everyone's saying it's such a shame;
You are going down.

Hollow the words that fall from you;
Always surprised anyone hears you now;
Rage is the current that drags you down;
It swallows you down.

Lifeless the heart that beats in you;
Keeping your silence lest you begin to scream;
Dark are the days when the lost are found;
And they swallow you down.

Chorus:
And the heavens are crying but you remain dry;
Cold from the inside;
And everyone's saying it's such a shame;
You are going down.

Bridge:
Heaven help you
All alone
It's so much easier
To just let go

Chorus:
And the heavens are crying but you remain dry;
Cold from the inside;
And everyone's saying it's such a shame;
You are going down.

Everyone's saying oh it's such a shame;
You are going down.

Untitled

2008-08-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

Here is a day when I can't find the sun;

Bleached out, washed out, colors that run;

And those who don't care what they say or do

Are those who would walk away from you.

Dogs that bite and dogs that don't;

People promise what I know they won't;

Lying or hiding, where is the line?

Ask me, I'll tell you everything's fine.

Love isn't love if you don't say the words;

And truth is still truth even if it's unheard;

Somebody save me from those who are dead;

Somebody tell me what lives in my head.

Painted on gold looks nice from afar;

Up close it's chipped, fading, and scarred;

Hold the pieces, the tatters, the remnant of this

And tell me I don't need all that I miss.

Fighting the past is like fighting smoke;

Rush down my throat, laugh as I choke;

Around me, inside of me, breathless fear,

But surrender is not an option here.

Letting Go

2008-08-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

Couldn't you see that I
wouldn't believe your lies?
How could you not know
I would have to let you go.

Couldn't you hear in me
all that I refuse to be?
How could you miss the truth
that I am not like you.

Chorus:
So cold, so bitter,
so wrapped up in yourself.
So lost, so broken
you can't see anyone else.
Heartless, jaded,
you know you live to be cruel.
And I know now
I can't hold on to you.

Couldn't you see me?
How you leave me bleeding?
How can you justify
all the wounds you leave behind.

Couldn't you hear your lies?
Your power to paralyze?
Like you think you have the right
to take over me tonight.

Chorus:
So cold, so bitter,
so wrapped up in yourself.
So lost, so broken
you can't see anyone else.
Heartless, jaded,
you know you live to be cruel.
And I know now
I can't hold on to you.

Bridge:
I love you; I hate you;
I'm torn in between.
You love nothing more than
to cause me misery.
I wanted to save you;
eyes open now I can see.
You don't want salvation
and holding you hurts me.

I can't hold on to you.

Chorus:
So cold, so bitter,
so wrapped up in yourself.
So lost, so broken
you can't see anyone else.
Heartless, jaded,
you know you live to be cruel.
And I know now
I can't hold on to you.
I can't hold on to you.
I can't hold on to you.

Requiem

2008-08-18T07:19:00.000-07:00

Darkness spreads, voracious cancer,
Eating at my sun;
Consuming, feasting, swallowing
Until its work is done.

It’s cold, bone-chilling, numbing,
Whispery and vague;
I wander through this pitch-black land
Haunted as a grave.

My lips are bound, choking words
On crimson thread;
I dare not speak, dare not think;
I am already dead.

My hands broken, useless things,
Holding nothing, grasping still;
What I need slips, water-thin,
I never get my fill.

The edges of my poisoned wound
Blood darkens, lingers, seeps;
Stains body, soul, and mind;
Vanishes in the deep.

Silence beckons, smothers, soothes,
False peace to lay my head;
I wander lost, in dark unending;
I am already dead.

Want

2008-08-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

I can say with truth;
I never saw this coming.
I can say to you;
I should have started running.

You can make me want
When I know better.
You can make me hurt
For what I cannot have.

Chorus:
I close my eyes and see you;
I breathe and taste you in my mouth;
I ache for everything that is you;
And I cannot do without.

I am far too proud to beg;
If you would listen.
Words are less than what is said;
I can’t get over this.

You smile and everything fades;
I can’t escape it.
You look like you’ve just got it made
When all I want is you.

Chorus:
I close my eyes and see you;
I breathe and taste you in my mouth;
I ache for everything that is you;
And I cannot do without.

Bridge:
How can you be the air to me?
How can you make it hurt to breathe?
How can I make you stop and see
Me?

Chorus:
I close my eyes and see you;
I breathe and taste you in my mouth;
I ache for everything that is you;
And I cannot do without.

Veritas

2008-08-04T22:19:00.000-07:00

Shadows vague, uneasy grow;
Sinking into all I know.
I hear the truth beneath what’s spoken;
You refuse to see I’m broken.

Silence captive holds me here;
Imprisoned within unsteady fear.
Weaponless, defenseless I
Crouch, cower, wait to die.

Cut me to the size you need;
Pretend that I don’t really bleed.
Abandoned, isolated, torn;
Unsure of what it is I mourn.

Grief breeds anger, fury, rage;
Locked inside this pretty cage.
I take what you refuse to shoulder;
The shadows growing ever colder.

I cannot speak and so I scream;
I cannot sleep for I might dream,
Terrible, voracious things,
Mocking what the daylight brings.

Shattered, jagged edges raw;
You still pretend you never saw.
Balanced upon a living grave,
I still pretend I can be saved.

Defiant

2008-07-26T09:20:00.000-07:00

bind the tongue that makes you bleed;
crimson words dripping free.
acid burns against the soul;
eating through the world you know.

i am not your resting place;
i am not your ever after;
i am not the one you crave;
and you will not consume me.

shatter the unbreakable;
starve yourself but call it full.
power craves what it has not;
you knew it once, but you forgot.

i am not your true companion;
i am not your wicked lie;
i am not the one who saves;
and you will not consume me.

stake the ground and still it moves;
taking what you don't want to lose.
spill your bitterness and doubt;
but i will leave you here without.

i am not your tunnel's light;
i am not your beast of burden;
i am not the one who needs;
and you will not consume me.

Denial

2008-07-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

burgundy wine blushes gently,
piercing the tongue with bitter fruit;
your words drift along like water,
tasting nothing at all like truth

i sip, a whisper, a curiosity
flooding my mouth with crushing regret;
for you are sandcastles braving windstorms
foolishly hoping to just forget